Be Here Now: Finding strength in the present…and other philosophies I have….

When I was growing up, my parents often told me to “be here now.” This advice has resonated with me and I revert to it in times when I am worried or feel like I have let go of the reins in life. Their words suggest the importance of staying grounded and keep everything in perspective; while it is important not to completely disregard the future, there are some things that are out of our control. Being in college, I have learned to look to myself and the people I love in my life at difficult times. From my experience, one must first find peace of mind within themselves in order to even open up to the support of friends and family. In order to trust, love and feel confident in ourselves, we often have to dig deep. There is no way to force this kind of well-being; it seems like we take pride in ourselves, and eventually, we have this unchallenged faith in our ability to find inner-strength. This is not the same for everyone; for many people, religion is the primary source of strength, and the self-understanding follows. I respect any method of self understanding (as long as it doesn’t harm oneself or anyone else of course), however religion has never appealed to me. Bob Marley states my feelings about this perfectly: “Some people think great good will come from the sky, take away everything, and make everyone feel high. But if you knew what life was worth, you would look for yours on earth.” I feel like the always inspiring words of Marley are very compatible with my parents’ suggestion to “be here now.” This is how I try to live my life; with a focus on the present that does not include regret or unnecessary preoccupation. People always comment on how calm and cheerful I am; although I experience a whirlwind of emotion just like everyone else (I’m actually VERY emotional) I find comfort in knowing that at whatever moment I am in, I lead a fulfilling life filled with endless opportunity and absolutely amazing people by my side. I guess you could call me an optimist….

*disclaimer (I love using disclaimers): the ability to focus on one’s present life circumstances should not result in indifference for relevant problems that occur outside of themselves (global issues, friends’ problems, etc). I am not suggesting selfishness or indulgent self-involvement; rather, “be here now” is a means of finding enough conviction in ourselves to tackle the many obstacles we encounter throughout life with poise and fervor.

Many Faces: The Paradox of Virtual Friendship

I have 436 friends from all over the country. I know what music they like to listen to, what movies they like to watch, what they like to do for fun. I know who they’re dating, what they’re doing this weekend, what they drank last night. I know how they’re feeling, what they’re thinking and who they’re having lunch with tomorrow afternoon. I am not a detective, nor do I have enough time or dedication to discover all of this information in person, so how is it possible for me to know so much about my friends’ lives? The answer is Facebook, the increasingly popular social networking website that started in 2004. While once only open to college students and staff, Facebook is now available to everyone and currently boasts over 14 million registered users who “create profiles to connect with friends, share interests, join groups, send messages, write notes and post photos” (http://www.facebook.com/). In a society that continuously creates and relies upon new technology, Facebook’s innovative online community fits in perfectly. As with most technological advances, however, the many benefits of Facebook are often outshone and obscured by numerous drawbacks. It simultaneously creates and sustains deep friendships while initiating shallow, meaningless interaction. It connects us to the world around us, yet isolates us from reality. It facilitates and inhibits, entertains and humiliates, clarifies and confuses, delights and disappoints. Facebook’s users are often nonchalant about its role in their lives, but tend to find its influence more significant than expected. United States society is often regarded as both pioneering and destructive. We advance technologically at the expense of the environment and provide many people with jobs, but do so with wages so low that poverty becomes rampant. Such situations do not have a quick-fix solution and are definitely not black and white; Facebook also reflects this paradoxical nature. When used in the context for which it was created, Facebook is a valuable social tool; however when it dominates our social lives and imposes upon face-to-face friendship, it runs the risk of becoming an destructive replica of genuine interaction.

There is a reason that people are falling for, and even becoming obsessed with, Facebook. Upon signing on, your entire community of “friends” is at your fingertips. The home screen welcomes you with exclamation, and a “news feed” about your friends’ activity is displayed. Jenny is doing homework, John joined a group about Hugh Hefner, Nicole wrote on Ross’ wall, Andie added new photos, Brian is in a relationship. Good to know. Facebook informs you that you have one new message, a group invitation, two event invitations, a friend request, and to top it all off, that guy you met last weekend “poked” you (Facebook’s equivalent to flirting). After the home page, you go to your profile, where your picture and personal information are displayed. Your friends, your photo albums, the groups you are a member of and notes you have posted are readily at your disposal. Below this is the “wall” which is covered in kind remarks and inside jokes written by friends. “To the average viewer, my Facebook wall probably doesn’t make any sense,” remarks sophomore Jenny. “It’s a lot of ‘you had to be there’ messages, kind of like our own language.” Essentially, Facebook is a hub of social activity, and you don’t even have to get off the couch.

Looking at it from the view of a new college student, Facebook is a valuable resource one can use to find their place on campus and connect with new friends as well as keep in touch with classmates from high school. From joining groups pertaining to your interests, to connecting with people in your building or classes, Facebook makes this difficult transition into independence a little less intimidating. Facebook becomes a dynamic social hotspot, where friends interact; sharing about themselves, learning about each other, and viewing pictures to go along with every exciting story. “I went to Mexico for spring break, and the first thing I did when I got home was create a Facebook photo album,” says Lindsay, a sophomore. “My friends who didn’t go really got to experience the vacation without having been there.” Facebook allows you to keep careful track of your friends’ lives, and depending on their privacy settings, people you don’t even know.
Facebook also helps to maintain old relationships that may have otherwise faded due to the natural separation that occurs when peoples’ lives move in different directions. While years ago, friends and relatives had to rely on letters and phone calls to catch up and could only send pictures through mail, internet technology now allows for a fast and detailed exchange. According to Becca, “My best friend goes to school across the country and it’s so nice to be able to catch up quickly when our lives are too hectic to talk on the phone all the time.” Our culture expects rapid, effortless, and satisfying results; Facebook provides just that. It is fascinating that such technology exists and is simple enough for the everyday person to use and understand. Unlike many complex computer programs and technological devices, you do not have to be very tech savvy to open a Facebook account and use its many features. Thus, Facebook is accessible to a wide demographic rather than a targeted segment of the population, strengthening its appeal.

Facebook also creates a networking opportunity that goes beyond friendship. Its users can become involved in causes and organizations that interest them, discover new ideas that may have never occurred to them, join support groups and make personal connections that may last a lifetime. It is a forum of public discussion; one can express themselves and feel accepted. Creating a Facebook profile may serve for some as a form of therapy, allowing them to reflect upon themselves and put their thoughts onto the page. While people only used to attend one-on-one therapy sessions with a trained psychologist, the stigma surrounding therapy is disappearing and group therapy is rising in popularity. It can be comforting to know that someone else is going through a similar experience, thus Americans are becoming more comfortable divulging their problems and feelings publicly, as exemplified by the growing blog trend in our society. Like creating a blog, Facebook is a free and effective means of self reflection and expression.

With such full social lives on the internet, however, what becomes of social interaction in the tangible world? Roommates sit silently in the same room writing on each other’s Facebook walls instead of speaking. Plans are made through electronic event invitations instead of in person or with a phone call or letter. Personal conversations and pictures are posted publicly for all to see and comment on. Users have hundreds of “friends,” but how many of these people are they actually friends with? People commonly pass their Facebook friends in public and do not even acknowledge them. In some cases, they’ve never met in person and sometimes, never even communicated on Facebook. Users become “friends” with friends of friends, or request people they have no connection to whatsoever because they find them attractive or for some other obscure reason. As our society becomes increasingly individualistic, sites such as Facebook that seek to connect us can actually lead to even greater isolation if not used in moderation. Is a written message really more fulfilling than a spoken conversation? Does a virtual “poke” feel as good as a physical touch? Is there something strange about defining a person by the number of “friends” they have or by how many people write on their wall? And how well can you really get to know someone by staring at a computer screen?

When life becomes centered at our computer and revolves around our Facebook page, problems within real relationships often arise. Facebook’s public nature allows friends and significant others to see what other people post on our walls and the pictures they tag of us. This information is readily available and completely open to misinterpretation, often leading to hurt feelings, jealousy, and other unwarranted issues. “Facebook is bad. Stephen told me he was going to bed, but he’s totally on right now” sophomore Joni complains about her boyfriend. Such Facebook-triggered conflicts are not uncommon. Although we’re taught not to believe everything we see on the internet, many use it as their most frequent and valuable source of information because it is so easily accessible. Thus, rather than confront someone in person and verify what happened in the old-fashioned way, we take Facebook’s word for it and often create easily-avoidable drama.

Privacy is also a very significant issue with the internet, especially with sites such as Facebook which provide so much personal, and oftentimes incriminating, information. People often put information and photographs on their profile without considering who may be able to access it and use it against them. “The possibility that prospective employers are screening job applicants through the social networking web site [Facebook] is very real” (Bomey). While students want to freely represent themselves on Facebook, they have to use precaution when posting pictures of illegal activity such as underage drinking and when including inappropriate speech in their profiles and wall posts. “Employers cannot discriminate based on race, age or sex. But companies are free to refuse hiring someone based on other personal information viewed online” (Bomey).

Unless the user adjusts the privacy settings, their profile is susceptible to be viewed by anyone in their network. This vulnerability can be disconcerting; knowing that some random person, or even a friend, knows when you are signed on and can see your pictures, what is written on your wall, and now thanks to the news feed, basically trace every step you take on Facebook. Many users protested this new breach in privacy, creating groups such as the “AFSS (Anti-Facebook “Stalker” Society)”. Others started groups in favor of the news feed, while still confirming that Facebook’s design does not allow for much confidentiality. For example, the group “As a stalker, I find Facebook’s news feed feature an invaluable tool” portrays a picture of a peeping Tom with the caption “Stalking: Facebook makes it easy.” Although the issue is addressed humorously, it does not change the fact that, in a sense, Facebook users really can “stalk” people. “I have Facebook Mobile [Facebook offered on a cell phone], and it makes it even worse” says Steve, a sophomore. “If I’m at a party and I see a cute girl, I can look her up by pushing a few buttons and suddenly I know that she listens to Snow Patrol and likes to surf. Talk about coming up with a good conversation starter!” While generally harmless, “Facebook stalking” can go overboard and is an overall waste of time.

Such privacy issues imply that while we generally have control over our realities, Facebook is not the real world. It is a virtual community and should not be regarded as a commanding factor in our lives. There are many more productive uses of one’s time than wasting the day away on Facebook. Yes, it is a useful social tool, and yes, it is fun to be a part of. But in the end, our authentic relationships should shape our Facebook activity and not the other way around. It is one thing to rely on the technological revolution in the US for business and educational purposes, but when it comes to personal interaction, a computer is a inadequate replacement for a living, breathing friend.

Does rehab need rehab? Celebrity exploitation of rehabilitation

Unlike the illustrious celebrities in our society, we have the option to be anonymous; while everyone has to take responsibility for their mistakes, most people can do so discretely rather than out in the open. In the article “Turning Over a New Leaf,” Linda Shrieves argues that “for famous and common folk alike, reinvention often works wonders." She explains that when something goes wrong, both celebrities and everyday people try to re-create their image and get a fresh start. While this desire and ability to reinvent ourselves is something we share with celebrities, Shrieves notes that “for the rich and famous, reinvention often is a matter of hiring the right image consultants." The public manner in which celebrities manage their problems makes it difficult for us to relate to and sympathize with them.

It can be difficult to tell whether their apologies or trips to rehab are genuine, or merely publicity stunts to preserve their precious images. Dan Neil addresses this issue in his article “Little Miss Rehab.” As someone who has legitimately been through drug rehab, he expresses frustration with the trivialization and glamorization of rehabilitation, which he believes is “cynically exploited by celebs and their damage-controlling publicists.” He exemplifies Lindsay Lohan’s fleeting attendance to luxurious rehab facilities and Michael Richards and Isaiah Washington’s checking into rehab to save face after making inappropriate public statements. Such frivolous abuse of rehabilitation belittles the truly beneficial purpose it serves for people who actually have problems and have lost control over their lives. (If you want to learn more about the ridiculously luxurious rehab center pictured in the upper-right corner, check out the Wonderland Center sidebar link).

Emancipation of Color: Malevich's Suprematism

In a modern art class I took, we learned about the Russian artist Malevich. I found myself intrigued by his art as well as his theories…

In his 1919 manifesto Suprematism, Malevich describes his suprematist philosophies and how these ideas allow for the emancipation of color and lead to eternity. Malevich’s concept of Suprematism supports using color for color’s sake. This suggests that rather than painting the sky blue or the grass green because these are the colors the objects are perceived to be, it is important to “emancipate” color and allow it to be independent from, rather than connected to, an object. For this reason, Malevich paints all of his Suprematist works on a white background, which he believes represents a limitless eternity. He states that art that is abstract or nonobjective “is irrelevant.” He holds the belief that even if it is not clear what the object is, if it has been painted “based on color interrelations,” that is, if the color is related to what is being painted, the artist leaves no room for philosophical potential in their work and instead confines it within the boundaries of what they have created.

As we have grown up making concrete associations between colors and objects, Malevich’s philosophy boldly challenges the reality we have learned to accept. Whether his ideas hold water is purely up to the individual’s perception; however it is stimulating to think about the possibility that there is some other way of looking at the world…

Keep your lover close..."mate poaching" is on the rise!!

If you have ever been interested in a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend, or had a significant other lured away from under your nose, you may be interested to read Willow Lawsen’s article “Stolen Kisses” in Psychology Today. The fascinating article addresses the concept that approximately “20% of long term relationships begin when one or both partners are involved with others” (Lawsen). This behavior, coined as “mate poaching,” is extremely relevant in our society, especially in relation to the rampant infidelity in American culture. The article examines the percentages of men and women who have tried to take someone else’s mate and those who have given in to such attempts. It also briefly addresses the personality traits that are most likely to result in “mate poaching” and provides reasons that some people are unfaithful.

As someone who has been on the short end of “mate poaching,” I found this article especially interesting. While I was not very serious about the guy at the time, a close friend of mine did end up dating the guy who I had been seeing. A situation like this is so difficult because not only in your romantic interest involved, but also oftentimes a good friend. While it was difficult to cope with at first and I felt very hurt, I was eventually able to talk through things with my friend and maintain our friendship which I still value very much. My friend and the guy went on to have a loving seven month relationship, something that never would have happened between him and me. The whole experience kind of made me realize that although it can cause a lot of drama to begin a relationship with someone who is already involved with someone, at times it can be for the best. As “Stolen Kisses” illustrates, many successful relationships begin this way, so perhaps it is not so horrible to interrupt one relationship for the sake of moving on to someone you are more compatible with. To read the full article and read some surprising statistics, check out the link!

What was on your mind last night: Dream'd in a Dream

If you take interest in analyzing your intricate and eccentric dreams or hearing about others’, then take a look at the blogspot site “Dream’d in a Dream” (dreamd.blogspot.com) in which a social psychologist describes and analyzes some of her most perplexing dreams. In Sigmund Freud’s book “The Interpretation of Dreams,” the prophetic and symbolic nature of dreams is explored; ths blog is exemplary of this concept. The author shares the details, sometimes graphic, that she can recall from a specific dream and interprets it based on her past experiences and current life circumstances. Most of the dreams she explains were upsetting or frightening, and the author relates them to traumatic incidents and emotional preoccupations. She does not hold back in tackling the significance of her dreams though self-analysis, which is something that can be very hard to do.

I find that it is so easy to judge and explain the behavior and attitudes of others; however honestly looking at oneself is often very daunting. Dreams reveal a lot about us and I think learning to decipher their meaning can help shed light on many aspects of our life that may be confusing. Judging by the growing popularity of dream dictionaries, which claim to explain what different occurrences in dreams represent, many people are interested in gaining self-understanding through dream analysis. While I am somewhat skeptical about the authenticity of such dictionaries, as is the Dream’d in a Dream blogger, they provoke thought about the subject which is a good first step. In a high school psychology course, we learned how to prompt memory of our dreams and recorded as much as we could remember for a week. Doing so was very insightful; dreams seem so arbitrary and strange, but when you really look at the details and relate them to your life, the cluttered pieces seem to fit together and reveal more than expected. I recommend checking out this blog and maybe even doing a little of your own dream interpretation.

Psychology of Consumers--there's a lot more to it than you might think!

Each of us plays the role of a consumer on a daily basis. Generally, we are unaware of the involved process that goes into our purchasing and decision-making. The website The Psychology of Consumers, at www.consumerpsycholgist.com, gives an in-depth look into the many fascinating aspects of consumer behavior and marketing. The site was created by Lars Perner, Ph.D, the Assistant Professor of Clinical Marketing at USC’s Marshall School of Business. Perner’s contact information as well as links to additional websites he operates are provided on the page, giving him authority on the subject. An editor is not cited on the page; however it is well-written and seemingly error-free. There is not a date provided for when the webpage was updated, but seven out of the ten supplementary links are currently accessible.

The website is clearly organized, providing links to the array of topics discussed and clear headings throughout the text. Subheadings, lists, bullet points, and emphasis on key terms and concepts further enhance the site’s ease of navigation. Perner does a great job of explaining and analyzing a wide range of topics relevant to consumer behavior; in just a few pages, he expertly covers many of the main ideas taught in marketing classes and discussed in-depth in text books. From general information about consumer behavior and marketing strategies to detailed descriptions of demographics, perception, and self-concept, Perner’s explanations are educational, interesting, and easy to comprehend.

The site provides a Google search for Perner’s teaching materials, however due to the content of the page. It would also be useful to include links to video and photo advertisements to exemplify the implementation of marketing campaigns. Along the same line, some visual graphics included on the page would make the website more dynamic. Aside from these minor shortcomings, The Psychology of Consumers is overall such an informative website that I was surprised it was free to access. It is extremely helpful as a supplement to a marketing course, or a great way for someone who is relatively unfamiliar with consumer behavior to quickly acquire a wealth of information on the topic.

On attachment: Gandhi vs. Orwell

In one of my classes, we recently discussed Mahatma Gandhi's proscription that you should have no close friends because attachments to others will lead you to compromise your principles and ideals. As someone who values and finds strength in my various personal attachments, I found this statement very interesting. I realize how influential other people can be, but it seems possible to maintain close relationships and personal beliefs. In George Orwell's essay "Reflections on Gandhi," he expresses his views on this theory of Gandhi's with a statement I found very true and powerful: "The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one is sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one's love upon other human individuals." While I can understand that Gandhi was willing to treat everyone equally and sacrifice his attachments in order to dedicate himself to God, I would rather live a life filled with all of the incredible complications that go along with a close relationship.

Sasha Strauss

Sasha Strauss is a brand strategist who spoke in my marketing class last year. He is charismatic, intelligent, entertaining, and one of the main reasons I hope to continue my studies of consumer behavior. He explained that people do not develope lasting loyalties to products, logos, or ad campaigns; it is the brand that gains recognition and love. He states, "what matters is the unique, ownable idea embodied in your product that your audience will love to love" (sashastrauss.com). In a sense, brand strategy is the heart of marketing. While many aspects go into the process, it is the products associated with well-established brands that have the most long-lasting success. Sasha Strauss effectively explains the importance of a brand, stating "they make you feel. They bring life to a product experience that equates to a value far greater than features or functions" (sashastrauss.com). His ideas are fun and innovative. On his website he provides his opinions on brands he believes succeed, as well as those he believes fail. The links on his page to clips of brands are great, so check out his site and learn a little something about your favorite brands!

my first post EVER

So this is my first blog post...exciting! I'm not really sure what to expect, I guess we'll just see what I come up with...Time to get on board with the blog craze!!