Keep your lover close..."mate poaching" is on the rise!!

If you have ever been interested in a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend, or had a significant other lured away from under your nose, you may be interested to read Willow Lawsen’s article “Stolen Kisses” in Psychology Today. The fascinating article addresses the concept that approximately “20% of long term relationships begin when one or both partners are involved with others” (Lawsen). This behavior, coined as “mate poaching,” is extremely relevant in our society, especially in relation to the rampant infidelity in American culture. The article examines the percentages of men and women who have tried to take someone else’s mate and those who have given in to such attempts. It also briefly addresses the personality traits that are most likely to result in “mate poaching” and provides reasons that some people are unfaithful.

As someone who has been on the short end of “mate poaching,” I found this article especially interesting. While I was not very serious about the guy at the time, a close friend of mine did end up dating the guy who I had been seeing. A situation like this is so difficult because not only in your romantic interest involved, but also oftentimes a good friend. While it was difficult to cope with at first and I felt very hurt, I was eventually able to talk through things with my friend and maintain our friendship which I still value very much. My friend and the guy went on to have a loving seven month relationship, something that never would have happened between him and me. The whole experience kind of made me realize that although it can cause a lot of drama to begin a relationship with someone who is already involved with someone, at times it can be for the best. As “Stolen Kisses” illustrates, many successful relationships begin this way, so perhaps it is not so horrible to interrupt one relationship for the sake of moving on to someone you are more compatible with. To read the full article and read some surprising statistics, check out the link!